remember the confession journal I made toward this friend of mine like couple weeks ago?
yeah this time he approach to me and I were super surprise, and I was like I though he ran away or got scare from it. So we're talked about that day... and he kept apologizing saying he being a huge of a dick for laughing and everything on that day, because he felt like he doesn't know what to do. We kept apologizing me... and I told him " it's okay, if I was a guy and a girl just approach to me like that, I would be like what you do laugh out of no where and such, so I totally understand".He then said that he been thinking a lot lately about it and he also he was looking for me on Monday but I wasn't there and he waited for 4 hours and I still didn't arrive, so I told him I'm so sorry I was over busy, my schedule is not giving me a happy face this time... I'm actually pretty busy lately. then he was like he understand, he then said he doesnt wants to talk to me on facebook because he said he might feel like a bigger dick if he do that ( that I dont understand), he said it be nice to talk face to face like this. I was like I know, I actually realize that whatever you online and I'm online, we're just stare at that little green dot and waiting for either one of us make a move, but in the end we're feel like " the great gatsby " all over again... then he LOL then joke and said " at least I didn't die like gatsby" XD. Then he state that he's not ready for relationship or desire one yet because he is overly busy with work and school, and he was having financial aid problem also. that's why he's in a huge stress, and he was like I haven't date any girl before or do anything like this before. So it was very new to me. Thus I felt like I'm not ready for it yet thus he doesn't wants to break the friendship that we had build for 3 years. I was like " remember that day I confessed and you told me I should think about it?" he was like " OMG IM SORRY, I FEEL BAD FOR ACTING LIKE A DICK". I continue " I actually thinks a lot about it, because I actually concern about the friendship also, I really doesn't wants to loose you as a friend also, but I do thinks a lot but you know girl right. They usually over-think a lot but when they chose to do it, it turn out to be mindlessly happen." He said that's true. then I continue " I even remember when you ask me " what do you like about me" to be honest, that time I was completely freeze as if I can't speak what in my mind anymore, but today I'm just gonna answer it. I likes you not because you're good looking, not because you were very smart academically, I likes you because of who you are, you don't fake around like every other guy who just trying to act cool and show off... you just be yourself, laugh talk, and talk what you know. you even keep promises and very reliable" he was like " AWWW, you see me like that * sparkle eyes" ( tard). then I told him " I don't view you as a boy, or a guy, I view you as a man who is caring and protective" he was like staring at me, his face all red. Then after that he then said " you know rai, you very different from all the friends I have who happened to be a girl, you very content, very confident, you don't care how people say about you, you still confident, as if you know yourself so well and always show people that you are full confident, and also you never easily mad or get angry, you very content, and I find you very different" then we both pause for a pretty long time and giggle then he said " rai, you very pretty today" I was like I'm not that pretty im pretty decent , he quickly yell at me " fucking takes my damn compliment" I was like wtf. Then we both laugh hella badly, I told him I am just a type of girl who doesnt care if the guy is good looking, muscular, intelligent, or have money... if he is caring and protective, and love me for who I am, he is already good enough fr me. His face was all red again and just look at me. I then continue " I know you have trust issues, that's why you rarely hang around with your friends and my friends also, that's why you come home and talk to your dog a lot, you felt lonely" he just shock and looks at me and said " how do you know?" I continue, " I was pretty much the same, I might be happy around my friend and always joke around, but Im actually felt empty and alone myself, sometimes when I get home all I do is talk with my dog and play with them, I dont have any body to talk to because whenever I see people I dont feel comfortable with them right away because I see something" . he said that he is the same. Then he ask " have you done this before?" I was like what? . He then said " confess?" I told him... " you the first guy who I confess and when this kind of thing happen, it's usually the other way around, when I met you I feel strange, I usually know how to do hint and makes them approach me and everything, use trick... but when I see you and be with you, it makes me wants to go for it... thus is not high school anymore and this is college, you cant just treat love as a game anymore, if you like somebody just do it". He just keep looking at me then he was like " I am totally agree with you, to be honest I doesnt like that asian guy that you going on the movie with, matter of fact that I dislike him" I was like why, he said " I dont like him, that's all". but then he was laughing hella badly as if he is happy when he said that. he then state " I know you went to the movie because you respect your friend, since they try to hook you up but to be honest I was very mad that time". He ask me how long I have been single , I said 3 years. Then I ask him the same question he ask me, he was like " I never have a girl friend before".LOL. Then later we talk about how we first met each other. Then soon I said " sometimes I find myself pretty funny, of all people why do I like you, I felt like is a bad choice, and when I confess bad timing, is like everything is bad choice LOL" he was like " IM A BAD CHOICE TO YOU!!!?" I was like yeah maybe XD. then we talk about how our friend right now acting like a bitch and everything and he quickly said " THIS IS WHY I TOLD YOU, DONT HANG WITH THEM, THEY GOT ISSUES, SPEND ALL YOUR HANG OUT TIME WITH ME INSTEAD. AND YOU NEVER LISTEN!!! " I was like this boy got issues. Then we talk about our perspective about our friend and our thinking then he was like " OMG we're in a same boat in almost everything". I was like " yeah surprisingly". He then said " to be honest, you are very content, but after this conversation I have new perspective on you, you always seem calm, content, and full of confident I didn't know you were a DANGEROUS LADY". I told him " truth is, you are always laugh out of your content, and then talk about how you feel and everything and sometimes just laugh out of nowhere when you hear something funny. But I have to admit YOU A DICK!" he was like " damn, we're in same boat again XD" . Then later he told me his schedule when he available and everything and he said " ___, whatever you need to talk or need a shoulder or anything, just called me, text me, message me, I'll always be there 24/7. But it would be nice if you approach to me first
" In my mind I was like is something wrong with him?. THen when we come back to library study and everything im about to grab lunch while he continue typing his essay. He was like " __________, are you gonna be here on thursday?" I said " sorry, I'm very busy" he then said " how about Tuesday?" I was like " yeah is fine" then he then ask " how about tuesday a week after" ... " I was like Im free also. He was like " SWEET" ... then I saw something on his face, so I use my hand to wipe it off, his face turn all red and he cover his face with his hand...
To BE HONEST, WTF IS THIS FUCKING SHIT!!! XD